words corrupted. 2012

darkness envelopes my mind and makes me cold and weak.
i cant see past the shadows to see what comes unforeseen.
its always on the horizon those pieces we weren’t meant to find.
when we feel like all love is lost, can it be found again?
these callous words and things said taken in ways corrupted.
always seem to sting most when you know they aren’t true.
why cant we find a real place in our hearts?
a place where the battlefield isn’t always in full force.
a place where we can be true.


Knowledge, (circa 2009-2010)

I have always strived to understand others.
I hate to be misunderstood.
I want to get people.
To truly understand who they really are.
To accept them for both who,
and what they are.
Because I lack understanding,
I cant grasp at the pieces of the puzzle.
If ive missed something,
Could it be gone forever?
I know time doesnt allow us to rewind, to relive.
But arent we still breathing?
Only unable to grasp what is real.
I seek to understand the path,
the path my feet have set upon me.
I seek to know.


A voyage within the mind (circa 2009-2010)

Dark clouds lie in wait across the horizon.
The wolves and ravens lie in wait.
This dark landscape foreboding.
A land of both death and decay.
The minds derision even you cannot sedate.
If you knew the way,
you would end all of your fear.
But the crags and crevaces set,
the lonely traveler off-track.
Once you step forward,
you can never turn back.
Eyes open you seek to open your mind.
Yet still you cannot find the path,
yet yearn for higher ground.
Dark clouds lie in wait across the horizon
Have you found them?
Stop and stare into the night.
Only then will you win the fight.
Stare inside, look deep within.
Then you may see yourself whole again.


The thoughts inside a poem from 2009

I don’t know where im going. All I know is where i’ve been. my mind keeps racing thinking of things over and over again. i don’t know what’s left to face. what lies ahead, will i win the lottery or find out i’m dead. i cant describe to you how you feel to me. i’m not even sure if your my enemy. is my subconscious thoroughly erasing my soul ? am i entirely too jaded, trying to climb out a rabbits hole ? i don’t know where i’m going when nothing is left, my chests torn asunder my heart left bereft. i cant say more than this. i cant see love cause it doesn’t exist. don’t u see. do you feel? or is everything going or gone. your whole life a film with nothing left on the reel.

The Question, a poem i wrote back in 1997 published in 2009 via poetry.com

In time answers dwindle and questions multiply.
As the night approaches the midnight hour,
is it as I thought or does it wane?
Its not that I don’t feel its sweet essences presence.
Its the doubt, remorse and regrets
of long forgotten dreams and memories.
Its the freedom of life and choice,
and its long forgotten charm and voice.
To whom do we owe this callous test?
I think of the I love yous.
I think of the I miss yous.
Its the feeling of your skin,
caressing me each night as i lay,
contentedly holding you.
What to do? What comes next?
Can I trust my inner voice?
Closeness equals heartbreak but without love,
what is there left of our existence?
Hollow and empty is all that’s left.
A vessel of inconceivable power,
but lacking a soul.
I don’t want to be that jaded.
I want whats real to me.
Even if its only for an instant.
A death more quickly met,
than at the hands of a dragons fiery breath.


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